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Archive for November, 2009

Driving 400 Miles To Get Newspaper

Nov 19

Posted by Michael Majid in Funny, Mystery, Odd

Day by day, more and more people are losing it. Well, the old guy named Eric Steward was 81 years old. He initially got out of home to get the news paper. He took a wrong turn by accident and then kept on driving and driving for nine straight hours.

So after nine hours and 400 miles away from his home, he decided to ask someone for directions. He talked to a person from the local police station of the place that he had reached and that officer talked to the old guy’s wife on the phone to find out about him.

Apparently, he was 400 miles away from his home while he had just gotten out to get the morning newpaper. He says: “I just went out on the road to have a drive, a nice peaceful drive”. That peaceful drive lasted around nine hours.

The police officer was quoted as saying, “This little old man came up to me saying he was lost. He handed me his mobile and asked if I could speak to his wife”. He was then directed.

Upon asking him why he did not have a satellite mapping GPS to help in finding directions. He said that he did not need one. * He was only lost once in his life*. I think he should get a GPS now, to avoid getting lost for nine hours again, LOL!

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Father directs Canadian Geese

Nov 7

Posted by aamir in Funny, Odd, Weird

Geese

Geese Busy In Their Work

I know what you are thinking. How in the hell can a person direct a goose, and how can the goose comprehend what the person is instructing it to do? Well, believe it or not, that is exactly what my father did at a lake in Georgia.

It was a hot day and we had gotten out of the house for the first time at around 8 p.m. We went to a local park and I went for my daily run, while my family took a pleasant stroll around the lake.

As I finished my run, I sat down on a bench that overlooks the lake, waiting for my family to return. I was sweating heavily and unfortunately, my family had the water bottles with them.

I don’t carry the water because it slows my running. Finally, I saw my parents and my sister coming towards me with the water and I was relieved.  We usually sit down on the bench for 10-15 minutes before we leave.

As we were sitting and enjoying the blissful weather, a flock of Canadian Geese were sitting on the lake. Many of you probably know that Candian Geese hate to stay in Canada (due to harsh weather), and once they migrate to a warmer area, they are lazy to go back. As fast as a gun was pulled in  Ok Corral, the geese decide to take off.

Now, I have extremely slow reaction time, and by the time it took for me to understand what was happening, the geese were heading to go over our heads.

My father, acting much like an air traffic controller at Heathrow airport,  immediately jumps from the bench and starts waving in an attempt to scare them away. The geese, thinking he is directing them, stop in midair, and change direction.

It was a hilarious moment for us and came as a shock because we are not used to this sort thing. Thank God the geese did change direction, otherwise we would be driving home in geese droppings.

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Is The Fourth Kind Real? Dr. Abigail Tyler, Grow Up Please!

Nov 7

Posted by Michael Majid in Entertainment, Mystery, Odd

The Fourth Kind

The Fourth Kind Isn't Real! - Movie Cover

We’ve been watching aliens since we were kids. In games, cartoons and even movies. As a kid, I was always excited to learn about ‘aliens’ until I grew up and found out it was just a stupid good-for-nothing crap being filled into our mind.

Next thing you know Dr. Abigail Tyler comes up with something ridiculous saying that “the fourth kind” A.K.A aliens do exist and they don’t come near us. Yeah sure. Like they left a memo message for Mr. Tyler that they aren’t coming to earth or something.

Is the Fourth Kind Real? Hell no!

After all, what makes him think that people are going to believe this crap. Just because you’re making a movie about something ridiculous doesn’t mean that it is going to be believed. After all, people aren’t really that stupid are they?

In fact, I would advise you not to watch the movie ‘The fourth kind”. If she is trying to make people believe that whatever is in the movie is true, then she might succeed if the first viewers of the movies are a few stupid blondes who would still believe that a tooth fairy comes to collect their broken tooth and leaves some lousy presents.

I’m not totally denying the claims of Dr. Abigail Tyler but a piece of advice for her: Don’t start talking about things until you have any proof. What proof do you have of the ‘fourth kind‘? Did you invite them on dinner last night?

The movie released yesterday and I have yet to see it. But if you haven’t seen it yet, please don’t believe it until a reasonable and logical claim is made by Dr. Abigail Tyler regarding the existance of aliens of the fourth kind.

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Rihanna’s Forehead Accompanied Her To 20/20 Interview

Nov 7

Posted by Michael Majid in Entertainment, Funny, Weird

Rihanna's Forehead

Rihanna's Forehead - I know it's huge!

Well, rihanna has a gigantic forehead. She recently got a new haircut after getting rid of her mo-hawk look. She looks better than before but her forehead is looking larger than ever.

I think you can easily tell that by looking at the photo on the right of rihanna. Her forehead is huge and it’s going to accompany this ‘Umbrella’ hit-maker to the 20/20 show.

It has something to do with the Chris brown attack. Recently, she opened her mouth for the first time after being attacked by Chris Brown in the start of 2009 about the after effects of the attack on her.

On the morning show, Rihanna revealed how disturbed she got because it was one of her first ‘big love’ when her ex-boyfriend chris brown assaulted her. “There was no soul in his eyes.” “There was no person when I looked at him,” the 21-year-old singer recalled during the second installment of an interview airing on ABC’s “Good Morning America.” “He had no soul in his eyes. Just blank.”

That sounds plain weird. What was really wrong with chris brown? We can’t say for sure but for now chris brown speaks in reply to this interview of her to MTV. “While I respect Rihanna’s right to discuss the specific events of February 8,” Brown says, “I maintain my position that all of the details should remain a private matter between us.”

It’s because her bruised up face was released all over the internet whom she though were ‘two women’ whom she knew. Well, I’ll update this post soon with more information about the rihanna interview. Till then, enjoy rihanna’s forehead or go and have a listen to her horrible new tracks!

Update 1: Apparently, the dancers of chris brown and his buddies has blown out about the february scuffle between the two. One of them said that they can’t tell what really happened. But he says on Twitter: “ u should wanna hear from the people that really know the truth!!!”. And another one says: “Let me just say that chris brown was pushed to the extreme”. This doesn’t sound too right and there is definitely something that Rihanna is hiding.

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Elizabeth Lambert: Soccer Girl Pulls Hair

Nov 7

Posted by Michael Majid in Funny, Odd, Weird

I like rough games. In fact, everyone does. But who could’ve guessed a good ol’ rough game between girls. I mean, just one girl, kind of bullying / bulldozing other girls. This is not a game of rugby!

In the new mexico women’s soccer, there is rough game. I mean seriously rough game. At least for the girl: Elizabeth Lambert it has to be a rough game. This mean soccer girl pulls hair, punches other girls and plays really really rough.

This is not a soccer girl fight. It’s just a one sided attack. But elizabeth lambert goes hard. She punches a girl who’s just trying to defend. First she punches her hard in the back. Later she goes on and pulls her hair so hard that the other girl literally falls to the ground.

Next thing you know, she might be crying (cry baby, boohoo). But this is one mean soccer girl. I doubt even if the guys would like playing with this soccer girl who pulls hair and punches in the back. Now, she’s suspended by the mexican league from playing football.

You can watch this mean girl in action in the video below. Ouch, that was harsh!

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Miley Cyrus Is So Dumb! Or Not?

Nov 7

Posted by Michael Majid in Entertainment, Funny

Picture this: You’re on the top of the billboard charts, you have a smashing new single, everybody’s jamming out to your hit single, the chorus of the song gets everyone flowing and then you don’t even know about a line on the chorus (A fake).

It won’t make sense now, but how about this. Below are the lyrics of a part of the hook of Miley’s smashing single ‘Party in the USA’:

My tummys turnin and I'm feelin kinda home sick
Too much pressure and I'm nervous,
That's when the taxi man turned on the radio
and a Jay Z song was on
and the Jay Z song was on
and the Jay Z song was on

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana

If she’s singing it, there must be some inspiration behind saying ‘Jay Z song was on’ three times. But here’s the best part. Miley was actually interviewed about which Jay Z inspired these lines and she goes, “I’ve never heard a Jay-Z song”.

The epic part is when she says that she doesn’t listen to Jay Z and other “Pop Music” like that. Damn, that is sad! She does not even know the difference between Rap, Hip hop and Pop. She is SO stupid!

Well, why are you saying that if you’ve not even heard a Jay Z track. Her answer to this seems to make no sense: “I don’t know, I didn’t write the song, so I have no idea”. The track was written by. She didn’t give a damn about the lyrics.

It was written by someone else, that’s pretty normal in the pop/R&B culture but she did not even bother going through the lyrics and actually knowing where they were leading because after all, it was HER song.

She then says: “Honestly, I picked that song because I needed something to go with my clothing line. I didn’t write it and … I didn’t expect it to be popular, originally. It was just something that I wanted to do, and I needed some songs and it turned out for the best.”

Though the song is not that bad, I say she doesn’t deserve the fame from the song. Why credit someone for something they didn’t even want to do? But oh well, it’s the USA. You mentioning USA in the title and how can you not expect it to go to the top.

The tune isn’t that bad either. It’s just her comments that made her look stupid at a little interview before her halloween concert where she dressed up like a Pocahontas (Whaaat?). You can hear the track below, the video isn’t too bad either. Enjoy.

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Hire Sarah Palin, Please!

Nov 7

Posted by Michael Majid in Entertainment, Funny, Odd, Weird

Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin

Well whaddya know? The politics whore attention seeker is up to be hired for a job. She signs up for the most famous job networking website on the internet: LinkedIn.

This was definitely her take on the employment crisis in the united states. The recession got her down so she decided to get a job and put it OUT to the world on LinkedIn. That sounds pretty convenient.

So if you’re in search for someone to hand you the toilet paper when it’s out of reach you got a jerk right here. Just in case you want to be sure if she’s up for the job you can go ahead and check out her resume at linkedin.com/governorpalin.

Thought I’m still thinking why she has governer palin there when you resigned from her job last July. But oh well, she can still reconcile the old times with her new attention seeking tool.

Oh yea, she also has a memoir coming out in a week or two about her experience as governer and blah blah. Well maybe she wasn’t too sure about her book selling even 7 copies (which will be her family members buying each and one of McCain) so she decided to go live on LinkedIn for a job.

I wish sarah palin the best of luck in finding a job. In a situation like this (economic recession, high unemployment), I doubt she’ll be able to find herself a place as a security guard. But oh well, let’s see how far she goes!

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Would You Really Leave Your Homework At A Place You Rob? I wouldn’t!

Nov 6

Posted by Michael Majid in Funny, Weird

This sounds like ‘the most weird theft‘ guy who filled the job application at a store and then later robbed it because the story is quite similar. In this case, two 15-year old boys (no jokes) decide to skip their school.

The story doesn’t end on them skipping their school. Next, they head onto a nearby neighborhood and decide to break into a house. No they didn’t steal any jewelry or money. Heck, they stole a video game system.

After all, what could we expect from two 15-year old boys. Having satisfied themselves with their excellent job of successfully stealing a video game system, the decide to take off before they get caught.

I forgot to mention that these boys were ’smart’ enough to bring their school bags with them (probably for stuffing the video game) and for some reason one of the forgot to properly close his bag or put all the stuff back in his bag after he had stolen it.

The blooper occured when one of the two boys (now being charged for robbery charges) accidentally dropped his home-work somewhere in their home. Moreover, the homework had his name, class and school name on it written perfectly.

What else would police need to track down this boy? Nothing! Next thing you know the boy from Woonsocket  of Rhode Island high school who dropped his homework in the home gets tracked down and has several charges placed on him.

The suspects were named, arrested and then questioned until the stolen items were recovered by the police. The boy is now being faced under charges of breaking into a house and then entering it with unsolicited permission and was released to his parents.

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Next Time You’re Planning A Drive-By Shoot, Don’t Forget To Roll Down The Window

Nov 6

Posted by Michael Majid in Funny, Odd, Weird

Oh, classic one here. We got this smarty from Appleton who forgets to roll down the car window before he starts his ‘drive-by shooting’ attempt. What’s the result? A miserable failure!

Andrew Burwitz

Andrew Burwitz

Well maybe not that miserable. This 20 year old guy, Andrew Burwitz has been charged for a drive-by shoot attempt and I feel sorry for him that he did not even succeed with it. Now how stupid can you get?

You forget to roll down the window before you’re planning to shoot through a window. Anyone interested in starting a drive-by fails blog? *Sarcasm* So he was doing this ‘drive-by- experiment at his ex-girlfriend’s house and some other random house.

This is when he got charged day before yesterday for 4 counts of first-degree reckless endangerment, 4 counts of endangering safety by reckless use of a weapon, disorderly conduct and criminal form of damage to personal and public property.

I had even a bigger laugh when I read the following comments to a news site which posted this. I actually thought that the first commenter was a relative of Andrew before I read the other too.

I have known Andy for 4 years now and have been very close to him. He is one of the greatest, kind hearted guys i know. I am simply stunned that he was capable of doing this. I mean, we all have our issues, but this just amazes me. My heart pours out to both families involved.

Another wrote:

I have also known Andy for about a year now and I can not believe he could do something like this. He is a big gentle kid, caring and sincere so there must be more to this story or others involved.

And the last one wrote:

There is no way I believe Andy would actually do something like this. I’ve known this kid for almost 8 years now since I married into his family and he’s the biggest softy I know. He loves his family and friends, goes to church, and is just an all our loving person. To even think that he would be capable of this is like trying to say that a newborn child could start reciting Shakespeare straight out of womb, it’s simply not possible.

Bru ha ha, couldn’t get any funnier than this to end this story for me. If the story weren’t for you, then the three comments by ‘N/A’, ‘concerned’ and ’shocked’ should crack you up!

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